guest post: are you sabotaging your marriage?

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This week’s guest blogger touches on an issue that I am guilty of. And, I didn’t realize it until I read her post. If you’re married, you’ll understand what I’m talking about – you probably do it to. If you’re not, read it so that you don’t do it if you do get married.

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Hi there Nap Time is My Time readers! I am so grateful for the opportunity to stop by today and introduce myself to you all!

My name is Summer and I am the all over the place mama behind Made By Munchie’s Mama.

I work, I wife, I mama and occasionally I am just Summer. I have 2 little boys: Munchie who is 2 aka Gavin and Dylie Bear who is 9 months aka Dylan.

My hubby and I are just like every other couple: struggling to find the work, parent, spouse balance and taking things one day at a time. On my blog you will find me writing about fights I have with my hubby, mama guilt, what I wear on Wednesdays, updates on my oldest son’s therapy and stuff they don’t tell you about parenthood before you get pregnant. I also throw a good ole’ tutorial around every now and then.

A couple weeks ago I shared a post on my blog about the realization that I have been sabotaging my marriage. You can read the post HERE to get yourself up to speed. Ever since then I have been really trying to focus on building up our marriage instead of continually tearing it down. The other day a scene from the movie The Break Up {you know, the one with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn} popped into my head. Jennifer was mad because Vince didn’t jump up and skip over to the sink while singing “Oh Happy Day” when she asked him to do the dishes. She told him that she wanted him to “WANT to do the dishes”. His response was, “why would anyone WANT to do the dishes?!” Hello?!!! I totally do this. Why doesn’t he want to change the poopy diaper? Why doesn’t he want to trim the trees outside? Why doesn’t he want to run out to the store and get me frozen yogurt at 11 p.m.? If he loved me and was a good husband, he would want to do these things for me, right?! Ummmm, wrong dum dum!
I desperately wanted him to want to do these things when I didn’t even want to do them myself. Logic never was my strong point. Then the thought popped into my head, “Let it be enough!”
Let it be enough that he is willing to do the dishes.Let it be enough that he is willing to get up at 6 a.m. with the kids so I can sleep in for another hour.Let it be enough that he is willing to stay home and play video games while I craft instead of being out at a bar with his buddies.
Let the simple fact that he is willing to do these things be enough, Summer! Here I am with a wonderful man who is willing to make sacrifices to support his family and willing to put us first in his life, but it wasn’t enough for me. There are men out there who get home from work and park themselves in front of sports center with a beer, expecting their spouse to tackle the kids, the cooking, the house work, the laundry … and yet I was criticizing my husband who truly is my equal partner. So my challenge to you all is to take a minute and think about all the things your spouse does for you and your family. If he does all those things with a smile on his face and a pep in his step…well, we can’t be friends. On the other hand, if he would rather be watching sports center, but is willing to help you with dishes and take out the trash instead: let that be enough … because you truly are blessed.
Thanks so much for taking the time to hang out with me for just a bit. If you want to see a step by step tutorial on how to make these yummy goodies, wander over HERE!

If you like FREE stuff and want to try your luck at a super awesome Blog Design giveaway from The Momma Bird, make your way to my current giveaway over HERE! Thanks, Emily for having me today! It was fun! ********

Summer, thanks so much for sharing this post. I didn’t even realize that I was sabotaging my marriage. Thanks for the eye opener!

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Comments

Tracy Jensen says:

February 3, 2012 at 2:36 am

Awesome post Summer….I love this follow up….great reminder…especially during the “love” month!
Tracy Jensen recently shared..Focusing on the outcome

TRACY SIMMS says:

February 3, 2012 at 3:15 am

great comments…thanks for the marriage awakening tip

Kristine @the foley fam says:

February 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Great post!!!
Kristine @the foley fam recently shared..Hello Late 20′s